Snape's Worst Memory
by sgkat
Summary: What the title says. From his POV.


_**Snape's Worst Memory**_

_A/N: Ok, this idea hit me while I was reading 'Snape's Worst Memory' in OotP for probably the hundredth time (no, that is not an exaggeration). Anyway, it wouldn't leave me alone, so I figured I might as well write it down…_

_Oh, before I forget… there are a lot of quotes in here from said chapter of OotP, and I do not own them, nor do I own Harry Potter, Severus Snape, or any other character from the Harry Potter series. I do not own anything from the Harry Potter series, because they belong to J. K. Rowling. But if you read Harry Potter like I do, you'll recognize the quotes._

_This is for my friends _HPAddicted_ and _the voice of singing clouds_ for helping me with the ending (so if you don't like how it ends, take it up with them)._

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I reentered my office, annoyed. Montague had finally turned up, jammed inside a toilet on the fourth floor. How he had gotten in there was a mystery. Of course, the new headmistress had needed my help in releasing him.

I strode over to my desk on which Dumbledore's Pensieve was resting. I knew immediately that Potter was in there. Suddenly livid, I plunged an arm into the Pensieve. The office lurched, and I was descending into the memory.

Seizing Potter between his shoulder and elbow, saying as I did so, "Having fun?"

He winced, looking 'round. As his tiny brain comprehended the fact that he had been caught, the expression of surprise on his face changed to horror.

We began to rise out of the Pensieve, the bright summer day disappearing. We were again in my office. I did not let go of Potter, keeping a vise-like grip on his arm. I spat at him, "So… _So_… been enjoying yourself, Potter?"

His face was white and he tried to pull away. "N-no…"

Unconsciously baring my teeth, I snarled, "Amusing man, your father, wasn't he?" I shook him hard.

"I – didn't –"

Throwing him away from me in fury, he fell hard on the dungeon floor.

"You will not repeat what you saw to anyone!" I bellowed, enraged.

"No," Potter said shakily, getting up. "No, of course I w--"

"Get out, get out, I don't want to see you in this office ever again!" I nearly screamed.

He hurtled for the door. I snatched a jar off of the shelf behind me without looking and threw it at his head. It missed, unfortunately. After some frantic fumbling, he wrenched open the door and ran for it.

Breathing heavily, I threw the second jar that I had grabbed on the floor. I was hardly aware of the shattering glass, not of the splattering potion as it pooled across the floor.

Still, the memory rose like bile to the fore of my brain…

S S S S S

I was taking my O.W.L. Defense Against the Dark Arts exam. I was scribbling, scribbling… the purposeful, feverish atmosphere that had been permeating the school for the past months was present in the Great Hall, and made me write faster. I had to write down everything going through my head. This was important. My writing became even more cramped and spidery as I continued to scribble. In a corner of my mind, a tiny voice complained that all of the teachers reprimanded me for my hard-to-read handwriting. Ignoring the voice, I willed myself to write even faster.

"Five more minutes!" squeaked Professor Flitwick.

I tried to write even faster than I already was.

"Quills down, please!" Professor Flitwick said, what seemed about a second later. "That means you too, Stebbins! Please remain seated while I collect your parchment! _Accio!_"

Everyone's parchment soared to Professor Flitwick's outstretched arms, knocking him off of his feet. I ignored the scene, bored. All I wanted was to find a place to sit and review the examination paper. A couple of over-helpful students got up, took hold of Professor Flitwick beneath the elbows, and lifted him onto his feet again.

"Thank you, thank you," panted Professor Flitwick. "Very well, everybody, you're free to go!"

I picked up my bag, sticking my quill into it, and swinging it onto my shoulder. I picked up the examination paper, and began to look over it. It would take forever to get out of the Hall. I began walking forward anyway, stilling looking at the paper, dismissing question one, it had been easy…

I walked out into the entrance hall, slowly making my way outdoors in the twitchy manner that made everyone call me "Spider-Git".

I wandered slowly over the lawn in the vague direction of the lake. Question nine had been somewhat difficult…

I settled in the shade of some bushes where I would be less likely to be noticed, and where I could go over the exam paper in peace. It didn't take that much longer; most of the questions I had had no problem with…

I got up, stowing the O.W.L. paper in my bag, thinking vaguely that I might go up to the library and study Transfiguration. I set off back up towards the castle.

"All right, Snivellus?" asked a loud, arrogant voice.

I whipped around, dropping my bag and plunging my hand into the pocket of my robes for my wand. I would get him. He was always hexing me, and I was going to hex him into an oblivious jelly. It was halfway up when Potter shouted, "_Expelliarmus!"_

My wand shot out of my hand, landing with a little thud in the grass behind me. Black laughed at me.

Burning with anger, I dove for my wand.

"_Impedimenta!"_ Black said. I was knocked off of my feet.

I feel the gazes of the gathering students as they formed a wall around us. Panting, I struggled to get up.

"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" Potter asked.

"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment," said Black viciously. "There'll be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word."

Several people laughed. Burning with still more anger, I continued to try and stand up. "You – wait," I panted, staring up at Potter in utter rage and loathing. "You – wait…"

"Wait for what?" said Black coolly. "What're you going to do Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?"

Now I was really pissed. I let loose a stream of mixed swearwords and hexes, but nothing happened. My wand lay ten feet away, totally useless.

"Wash out your mouth," said Potter coldly. "_Scourgify!"_

Soapsuds formed in the back of my mouth. They overflowed within seconds, leaving me unable to breath. I began to gag.

"Leave him ALONE!"

I looked up from where I was kneeling. One of the girls who had been cooling her feet in the water of the lake was striding up to Potter and Black, looking furious. Lily Evans, her name was.

"All right, Evans?" Potter asked, his voice suddenly deeper, pleasanter, and more mature, the filthy, puffed-up showoff.

"Leave him alone," Evans repeated. "What's he done to you?"

"Well," said Potter, deliberating, "it's more the fact that he _exists_, if you know what I mean…"

Almost everyone in the circle laughed. Evans didn't; she looked furious.

"You think you're funny," she said coldly. "But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him _alone_."

"I will if you go out with me, Evans," said Potter quickly. He was such a loser, with his obvious crush on her. "Go on… Go out with me, and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."

"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid," Evans snarled.

I could feel the Impediment Jinx wearing off. Slowly, I began to inch towards my fallen wand, spitting out soapsuds as I went. If I could just reach my wand…

"Bad luck, Prongs," Black said to Potter. "OY!"

I had reached my wand, and I pointed it straight at Potter, thinking as I pointed it at him, _Sectumsempra! _No one had seen that one before… A gash appeared on Potter's cheek, spattering his robes with blood. My satisfaction was short-lived, however. He whirled, and I was upside down in the air, my robes over my head. He was using one of my own jinxes on me… I was livid, now… I was going to hurt Potter so badly that he would never be able to ride a broomstick again…

I heard Evans say, "Let him down!" and in a moment I was laying in a heap on the ground. It hadn't been a soft landing. But I was going to get Potter; I struggled to unwrap myself from my robes. I got up, wand raised.

Black was ready. "_Locomotor Mortis!"_

I was on the ground again, rigid, unable to move.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Evans shouted.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you," said Potter earnestly. I could only assume that she had taken out her wand, as I had no control to look up.

"Take the curse off him, then!" she commanded.

He must have muttered the countercurse, because I was suddenly able to move. I struggled to get onto my feet.

"There you go," Potter said to Evans. "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus –"

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!" I spat.

She blinked. "Fine," she said coldly. "I won't bother in future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, _Snivellus_."

"Apologize to Evans!" Potter roared, pointing his wand at me. I was going to make him pay…

"I don't want _you _to make him apologize," Lily snapped at Potter. "You're as bad as he is…"

"What?" yelped Potter; his crush had just insulted him. "I'd NEVER call you a – you-know-what!"

"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can – I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK."

She turned on her heel and hurried away.

"Evans!" Potter shouted after her, "Hey, EVANS!"

But she didn't look back.

I was standing there, shocked, immobile. Evans had really brought the cool James Potter down to earth, the loser. My head buzzed. It turned out to be a bad idea…

I was suddenly aware of Potter's furious voice again. "Right… right –"

I was upside down again.

"Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?"

I could feel my pants sliding up into the air, slowly but surely.

"POTTER! BLACK!"

From a jerk of Potter's wand, I was on the ground again. Professor McGonagall was striding angrily across the grounds.

"You are attacking a fellow student AGAIN? This means fifty points from Gryffindor and detention for both of you! Up to my office, NOW!"

They walked away in a mutinous manner.

Professor McGonagall turned her back in a tired sort of way with a martyred expression on her face. She strode away after Potter and Black. The crowd that had gathered looked after her guiltily before beginning to disperse. No one spared me a glance. Now that the entertainment was over, but there was still the danger of teachers around, I was invisible.

As I slunk towards the edge of the Forest, I could feel sneaking tendrils of shame replacing the anger and hatred in my heart.


End file.
